Today I'm expanding my horizons a bit and going on a huge rant. However, you'll see some zany humor and colorful metaphors to disguise that this post is a huge rant. It might involve plants. Has anyone ever thought about the Venus Flytrap? Well you will now...
The Venus Flytrap is a predator. Though named after the Greek goddess of love, it's actually a carnivorous plant that catches and eats animals. Mostly helpless little insects. Evil Venus traps its prey using the tiny little hairs that dot the inner surface of its leaves, and does so in the most effective manner. But this isn't the only predator out there.
We can't forget about *insert pause here* Femalious Managerious. Dun Dun Dun!!!
Most femalious managerii go on supreme power trips because they want to prove themselves. Others find their way to the top using hoe-like behaviours. But this one? This one is a curious breed.
Her interactions with others are long and drawn out. Her facial expressions are etched in a way that inspires anxiety in the prey. This anxiety makes you keep talking to her. That's step one. Step two: she exudes only kindness so that you couldn't fathom her in any other way. Now step three: she puts meetings on your calendar. Boom, bam, bing. You're now her prey. You wonder what the hell just happened. But mere instances later reality smacks you in the face.
You start seeing her incompetence when it comes to running a report, presenting at meetings and drafting campaigns. She starts taking credit for the successful campaign you yourself ran. You start noticing she's very late to meetings. It becomes clear the team is disgruntled with her management style. She goes on vacation and doesn't announce it to the team.
But beyond just the professional stuff, she dresses very inappropriately at times. That dress? It's more like a shirt. That shirt that's so low cut? Who are you trying to impress honey?
But fear not! The real danger out there is the Venus Flytrap. That femalious managerious? She couldn't hurt a fly.
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