Dear readers,
It's been too long of a break. That being said, I wish it was an even longer break. It seems like every year, I have a relationship pattern. And every year, I hope that next year will be different. Come on, lucky 2014?
Step 1: I start dating a guy in early spring. I break up with him in fall.
Step 2: I date a bunch of flaky guys until the end of the year.
Step 3: I start off the year with renewed optimism. Then I date more flakes.
Step 4: I come back full circle and start a serious relationship again.
This year was a bit different. This time I was the dumpee, and this time, the situation with my ex was much more complicated. But regardless, I'm doing my best to move on to Step 2.
I was really excited when Step 2 kicked off because I was getting attention from herds of gentlemen. Guys were asking for my number left and right! Ok, I thought, I got this. I can move on. Look at all the fish in the sea! Or, to keep going with our herding analogy, look at all the cattle on the land! I quickly realised that these herds of gentlemen were shrinking into small pools of qualified candidates. By the end of this week, I may be looking at 0 to 1 male counterparts I have any sort of legitimate interest in.
Let me be clear, I am not looking for anything serious right now. I'm still a shell of a person, going through the stages of grief. Right now, I'm very angry my punkass ex is gallivanting around Brazil with 1 or more hoe bags. I don't have the emotional capacity to be a selfless, committed girlfriend nor the ability to trust anyone. But more on that later.
So back to Step 2. Why not have some fun while I recover? Why not get dressed up, go out on the town and get some male attention? Why not make out in a dark bar somewhere?
Last night, I was supposed to have a date with Hockey guy. Yes, the same Hockey guy from earlier this year. I happened to run into him at a concert last week and we had a blast hanging out. He texted and made other plans with me, blah blah the usual routine. He picked a nice little restaurant, and messaged the night before to confirm the plans. Oh boy, this will be fun! WRONG! He flakes first thing Wednesday morning because he had some interview essays to write. But from what I know of Hockey Guy and his intellectual capacity, it probably is best for him to spend the entire night writing those essays...
Let's move on to Google SF guy. This one was a bit of a shock, since he seemed so nice.
I was at the Exploratorium last week with some girlfriends and I kept noticing this Googler I had previously received training from during one of the big Google product launches. I struck up a friendly conversation with him, asked how Google was and mentioned I left for a startup. I didn't expect him to ask for my number and ask for a lunch date, but I was pleased when those words filled up the air between us. I got a text from him the next day that it was nice to meet me and that he was looking forward to lunch. On that same day, and only an hour later, I randomly stumbled into him at the Oakland Art Murmur. Clearly, we have great, and mutual, taste in recreational activities. I invited him to join my group since he had left his friends but he declined. He reassured me by mentioning how much he was looking forward to this lunch.
It's now Wednesday. I haven't received a lunch invitation. I'd like to say he's busy at work but I explicitly know he's not. His team is doing a reorganization so he's just dicking around right now. I'm not in a big rush or anything but I don't appreciate when guys don't follow up within an acceptable timeframe.
On the other hand, he may be too busy waxing those eyebrows, chest hair, and other very hairy body parts. But if you're not, please head to a salon STAT.
After this post, I'll forget about these guys. I'm not particularly bummed because I wasn't particularly attached to either of them. My frustration stems from confusion and bewilderment. Why ask for my phone number and send a follow up text if you weren't planning on getting together? Why ask for my phone number, make plans and even confirm plans if your tiny hockey brain cannot complete multiple activities in one day?
I seem to find the flakiest of flakes in San Francisco. I'm not sure how it's possible but you can count on me to do it. They're like moths to my flame. At least this might make for some fun reading for you while I develop an even higher tolerance for manchildren, flakes, outright assholes and confused Europeans who are still finding themselves.
XOXO,
Dating Aficionado
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