Dating used to be a simple thing that followed simple rules. Back in the olden days, if a guy wanted to approach a girl, first he would try to impress her. Then if he managed to accomplish that, he would call her house and ask her to go out with him. He could only take her out 1 or 2 times a week since the girl most likely lived with her parents. He wouldn't know about who else texted her and why she was kissing a guy in one of her Facebook pictures. A girl played hard to get like a pro. She knew the guy was smitten due to his relentless attempts for her attention including sending her notes and sweet bouquets of flowers. It was a courtship. It was sweet. People actually talked to each other. The banging came later on.
I know I'm exaggerating and possibly making some assumptions. However, I'm also basing this off of multiple stories I've heard about how my parents, my parents’ friends and my friends' parents got together.
Today's picture is painted with very different strokes. Guys start feeling like you have to impress them! They think it's ok to text you the day of and ask if you're free. They know they can contact you through so many different avenues. Sometimes they won't because they want you squirming in your seat wondering why you haven't heard from them. So to those guys, here's something: you're not that special. We aren't playing along with your games. So have fun with your lonely iPhone.
Say you meet a guy who (you think) is decent and doesn't play games. Say you actually like this guy. But the situation is quite complex. In the really olden days this would have been resolved with the written word. Said guy would write loquacious letters comparing her eyes to the stars and her virtuous beauty to an angel, exclaiming they must be together in the end! Today? Well, let me give you an example.
Met Boy in California back in January. Thought Boy was cute but wasn’t too interested. Upon my return to Austin Boy and I start gchatting. Seemed delightful but was put off by his intentions: dirty talk and dirty pictures. (Admitting I wasn’t quite the angel either). Over time, squabbles, dramatic statements, multiple gchat blockings, Boy and I start speaking like normal people. Thought he was smart, interesting, sweet and very cute. Main avenue of communication still gchat. Texted slightly but nothing extensive. Guess Boy thought gchat was plenty. May comes around and I head to Cali for work. As fate would have it, Boy was in Europe. Fast forward two months and several lovely conversations later. Made last minute decision to see Boy. Had to visit my sis in LA anyway so why not add San Fran as a pit stop. Plus had to visit a couple of other friends.
Arrived Wednesday and grabbed coffee with boy. Date was set for the next day. Had been talking for the past 7 months and now finally able to see each other again! Wave of surrealism intertwined with knotted emotion. Apparently Boy didn’t feel the same thing. Emotion is subjective.
Thursday came. Had a great date. Did lots of fun unique activities. At the end went back to his place. To answer questions, yes some things happened. Was quite fun. But favorite part was his eyes. Intense, playful and sincere. Next day, more things happened. Headed to the office. Boy comforted me over job stuff. But I was upset for a different reason too.
As an adult dating, you become more practical and are less inclined to waste time. You accept the situation as is, forgetting about the emotions you can let yourself feel. Boy followed this trend and said we should be practical. We can’t date long distance. We shouldn’t let ourselves get sad over the situation. Half of me agreed and the other half wanted to throw caution out the window. Long distance isn’t the devil. I’ve done it before and I know others who have successfully. If you like that person why should you focus on anything else? Enjoy the good times and endure the bad to get there. Shouldn’t dating be this great passionate thing?
I followed the tide of emotion. Friday I was indifferent to the situation. Saturday I was upset about it. By Sunday I got angry. Didn’t receive a single text from him over the entire weekend. So when Boy said we’ll talk more, he meant at his convenience. Which is just at work over gchat right? So all that stuff about long distance being hard and impractical was probably true, BUT since lovey-dovey emotion usually accompanies interactions like this, I should have received some kind of communication from him. And in the end, should I be satisfied with “some kind” of communication? I think not! In the olden days I would have gotten a tear-jerking letter. But in the present time I get to make a decision. So I’ll do the most practical thing of all: not waste any of my time. So congratulations on getting what you wanted. I got something even better: hope.
P.S. It definitely didn’t hurt to meet a couple of cute surfer guys in SoCal ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment