I like what you laugh at

Believe it or not, the title of this entry, I like what you laugh at, has joined the hall of fame of successful pick-up lines. What is a successful pick-up line? Well according to one of Jezebel's commenters, "the key to a good pick up line is delivery. He has to come across as confident otherwise no matter how well crafted or corny it will crash and burn."

Not the experience I had in SoCal two weeks ago. Instead, I got apocalypse'd.

The apocalypse pick-up line goes something like this: You go up to a girl and ask her pretty typical things (what's your name, how's it going, etc). After about 30 seconds, or just some ridiculously short period of time, you "apocalypse her." Basically, you ask her if she wants to go home with you. Blond, blue-eyed Cali guy just straight up asked me if I wanted to go home and have sex with him. Needless to say, that crashed and burned.

But believe it or not, this pick-up line has worked. And many other idiotic ones like it! Such as...

The $20 pick-up line. You bet a girl $20 that you can kiss her without using your lips. Of course this doesn't work so the guy just ends up kissing the girl and owing her $20. I'm sure this pick up line can be used with a myriad of dollar amounts. And despite any rational reasoning as to why it shouldn't work, some desperate or retarded girl out there falls for it.

But lately a lot of "pick-up" lines revolve around slightly insulting a girl to get her attention. Exemplified in Barney's tactics in "How I Met Your Mother." There's even a book out now with his pick-up lines. It's meant to be a spoof but girls, I wouldn't be surprised if all of a sudden you're hearing very familiar openers from guys.

Last night, a coworker told us a pick-up line he uses: "Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I could see myself in your pants." Now I assume he was joking when he mentioned actually applying this line, but he could have been dead serious.

Now, the best pick-up line of all is "What's your name?" Simple and efficient. Unless the guy asks you and your friend that 4 times because he's drunk and can't remember your names. And unless him and his friend stare at you for a while before deciding to hit on you. And unless they decide to go up to a couple of unattractive and awkward girls first and then hit on you later. And then proceed to get more drunk. Hmmm. I almost prefer the apocalypse.