A Lesson in "He's Just Not That Into You"

When I saw the movie, “He’s just not that into you,” I reveled, I laughed and I cried tears of joy. Who didn’t love the film’s refreshing honesty, realistic conflicts, relateable characters and hysterical monologues? But more importantly the film helps you realize that sometimes there are no happy endings and that sometimes “He’s just not that into you.”

Up until this week, my dating life was smooth sailing for my emotional well-being. I was in control. I threw away my first three candidates, and added new ones. And threw those out and added new ones again. He was definitely into me, whether it was the Russian, Mr. Blue Eyes or the Peruvian. (The Peruvian is still in the picture by the way). But as expected, I got bored again. And enamored again.

It took place this past Saturday night. I attended a techno party at this awesome venue with some friends. Enter a tall, dashing guy with a floppy mop of hair and profound French accent. A glint appeared in my eye. Followed by a smooth shuffle to where he was standing to start a conversation. And we conversed. And danced. And laughed. And traded scarves. He was cool, sophisticated, sharp and attractive. A friend mentioned he also seemed very nice. Of course I was ecstatic when he asked for my phone number at the end of the night.

It’s now Wednesday. Obsessing over my phone would be an understatement. Every time that little yellow envelope appears in the top bar on my screen, my heart jumps a little. Then comes a heavy sigh when I realize it’s T-Mobile telling me I have a new bill, a friend asking about my weekend or another boy who I have no interest in. Point being, Frenchie has made no attempt at contact. Was he suddenly deported back to France? No. Did he break both of his hands? Highly unlikely. Did a garbage truck run over his phone? Probably not. And even if that were the case, there’s always Facebook, email, etc.

I should have listened to the wise voices in the movie. The reason he hasn’t called is not because he’s having a busy week, dealing with a family emergency or lost his phone. The harsh reality is that he’s just not that into me. Why then he spent almost the whole night hanging out with me and then asked for my number if he wasn’t that interested? I don’t know. But there is one nagging little thought. I did approach him. I mean he wasn’t a rando, he was friends with someone in the group of people I was hanging out with. Regardless, I never approach a guy first. And I don’t plan on doing it again. Look at the disastrous results!

Ladies, I know it’s the 21st century. Women are in power, women are accomplishing great things and women are getting Brazilian waxes like it’s nothing. Meanwhile men are acting like babies if threatened by a single paper cut. Despite this, men should still play a traditional role when it comes to dating. The man is the aggressor. He’s the hunter. He likes the challenge of pursuing you. You have to make him work hard to get to you. If it’s too easy, he loses interest and doesn’t appreciate you. You shouldn’t approach him. You shouldn’t ask him for his number or worse, ask him out.

Some of you may think it sounds archaic and old-fashioned. On the contrary, I’m not advocating that you should assume the role of a 1950s housewife. And some of you guys out there might even disagree and say that they would like a woman to approach them. But you’re wrong. And I'll tell you why in my next entry.

Very into you,
XOXO Dating Aficionado